Greetings! I’m Naija Khloe, a native of Nigeria. I specialize in creating Christian content focused on self-care and beauty. In addition, I am a wife and a proud mother to three wonderful girls. I’m an educator within the public school system, but I’m gearing up to launch my brand through content creation by 2024. Currently, I have an online store “Najakhloe Khloset” dedicated to women’s clothing; the motto is “Where classy meets comfy.”
What’s the backstory of your journey to motherhood?
I always knew I wanted to start a family right after college, with the goal of having all my children before the age of 30. However, life had different plans for me. My eldest is 11, the second is 4, and the most recent addition is just 2 weeks old. When I met my first husband, within one month of getting married, I became pregnant with Mya-Destiny, who is now 11 years old. Interestingly, a similar situation occurred with my second child. After marrying my second husband, I was pregnant within a month with Mia-Bella, who is now four years old.
Despite my initial plan, each pregnancy came as a surprise, given the gaps between their ages. I could sense I was pregnant each time due to a delayed menstrual cycle, followed by symptoms like tender breasts or cramps. Confirming my suspicions, I took a home pregnancy test (always bought in pairs), and each time, the results were positive. For each pregnancy, I had a late period and either tender breasts or cramps.
The third pregnancy I wasn’t anticipating at all. At the time, I was accepting the idea of being done with having more kids. However, my family and husband were keen on the idea of expanding our family further. For that reason, we started taking steps towards that road. I had completed my blood work and was awaiting the results, while my husband was scheduled to do his. This was in December! Considering my age and the time gaps between pregnancies, fertility naturally became a questionable factor. I mean, my youngest child was four years old, and during that period, we weren’t actively using any birth control or safety precautions to prevent a pregnancy and yet I hadn’t experienced another pregnancy during that time. Therefore, I felt it could be a fertility issue, so consulting with a fertility doctor became an inevitable decision.
By February, I was feeling great, losing weight, and living my best life—i.e. traveling, including trips to Vegas and South Padre. Then, it suddenly hit me, “I missed my cycle!” Concerned, I took two pregnancy tests, both of which came back negative. A month later, I started experiencing symptoms like tender breasts, so I took two more pregnancy tests. This time, they both revealed a positive result. Astonished is all I recall feeling at that moment.
Completely taken aback, and couldn’t help but think, “Oh wow, God, you do work in mysterious ways!” It was a surprising turn of events, especially considering we were on the verge of starting the fertility process. It seemed like my body had other plans, reminding me that at almost 40, time was ticking, but there were plans in place for me. Unfortunately, this meant canceling my planned trip to Paris in February. As the reality of the pregnancy set in, my concerns shifted to my previous battles with postpartum depression after my last two pregnancies. Reflecting on my previous pregnancies and the experiences of having c-sections, I found myself grappling with a mix of emotions and uncertainties. Back on the road to becoming a new mommy for the third time.
What were your expected due dates, and when did you actually give birth to each child:
My children arrived earlier than expected. While I gained a significant amount of weight in my first two pregnancies, with this last one, I carried smaller—just all belly. Many people found it hard to believe how far along I was. My first came two weeks early. My second came three days before her scheduled c-section date. My last baby came three weeks early and was the smallest of all of them as she was only 5 pounds.
Did you successfully predict the gender of each child:
With my third pregnancy, I was surprised by the differences in symptoms and the way I carried. Despite expecting a boy due to these factors, I was proven wrong. It’s a reminder of the unpredictability of each pregnancy and how unique each experience can be.
With my other two pregnancies, I was heavy, but with my third; I was smaller and carried lower. I did not have much cravings in my last pregnancy. However, with my other two, I had sugar cravings. I had the metallic taste in my mouth that would not go away but did not experience it with my other two. And then having to go to the doctor all the time. I was so small, no one hardly knew I was pregnant. Emotionally, I was not as emotional as I was with my other two. I even had a dream it was a boy, just like my other two. I had dreams they were girls. So when I had the boy dream, I knew it was a boy. We did not know the gender until 2-3 weeks before the baby was due and found out we were having a girl.
Walk us through the birthing process, the day your water broke for each pregnancy:
First, let me say that all my children were delivered via cesarean (c-section).
For Mya, my oldest, her due date was August 27th, but she arrived two weeks early on August 14th. At that time, I was not aware of birthing plans; therefore, I did not have one or a backup plan. Going into labor came as a surprise because it was two weeks early. I had planned to continue working for the first two weeks of the school semester and even started getting my classroom ready by decorating before I began maternity leave. However, that night, I began feeling contractions. We went to the hospital, and the medical staff confirmed that I was indeed experiencing contractions.
After getting prepped and receiving the epidural, the doctor broke my water, and there the labor process began, proving to be challenging, to say the least. I pushed for almost 18 hours, reaching a point of exhaustion where I could no longer muster the strength to push. They said my baby was going to start getting a fever, so it was recommended to either continue pushing or have an emergency c-section. Realizing this, I communicated to the medical team that I was physically spent and opted for a c-section. After so many hours of trying, I just couldn’t push anymore. My baby was delivered by cesarean.
Let me just say that the nurses at Memorial Hermann Sugarland, TX, were exceptionally kind during this crucial time. In a remarkable display of dedication, one nurse even stayed beyond her scheduled shift to support me through the entire birthing process. This level of care was immensely comforting and reinforced that I was in good hands.
For Serenity, it was a scheduled c-section, although she arrived two days earlier than the planned date. The unexpected onset of labor occurred while I was at church on Good Friday, 2019. I began feeling contractions and pain, prompting my male cousin to drive me to the hospital. During the car ride, amidst the discomfort, I recall him jokingly saying, “Don’t have a baby in my car!”
Upon arrival at the hospital, the initial assessment from the nurse indicated no contractions and minimal dilation, suggesting that I would be sent home within the next hour. However, when she returned within that hour, the situation had taken a sudden turn, and I was found to be fully dilated. Realizing the urgency, she informed me that they would contact my doctor. Unfortunately, my doctor was on vacation at the time and was not due to return for two days, coinciding with my originally scheduled c-section.
With my primary doctor unavailable, the on-call physician took charge of delivering my baby. Before unexpectedly going into labor that morning, I had gone to the hospital for routine lab work to check my iron, etc., but unfortunately, the results were not available when I went into labor. Consequently, I experienced a significant loss of blood after labor, a phenomenon called Postpartum hemorrhage (PPH)—severe vaginal bleeding after childbirth.
The following day, as I attempted to follow the nurse’s request to sit in a chair, I suddenly fainted. Fortunately, the nurse was behind me, and my husband was in front, witnessing me collapse. In a scene reminiscent of movies where they revive someone by swiping a stimulating substance near their nose, the medical team took immediate action to revive me. Upon examination, it was discovered that my iron levels were dangerously low. In response to the severe blood loss, I received an emergency blood transfusion.
I recall my mom saying that the day after giving birth, as I was transferred to the postpartum floor, she looked at me and sensed that something was amiss. Expressing her worry to the nurse, my mom mentioned that I appeared pale. However, the nurse dismissed it, attributing it to fatigue, saying, “She’s probably just too tired.” Determined, my mom remained insistent that something was wrong.
Taking matters into her own hands, my mom examined my eyes and noticed they were unusually white. Worried, she removed the blanket covering me and was shocked to find blood on the bed gushing from some source. It became evident that something was seriously wrong, and I was just out of it. I am so grateful my mom was there.
This time around, I sought therapy for postpartum depression. It was right after the onset of the COVID-19 pandemic but before widespread shutdowns occurred. It was during this period that I created my brand, NaijaKhloe, as a way to demonstrate to moms and women how they can take care of themselves mentally, physically, and spiritually on a budget, especially when facing the challenges of a world shut down. I aimed to share insights on maintaining sanity during a time when the entire world was shutting down. This venture not only served as a guide for others, but it also played a crucial role in helping me navigate through my depression.
During my most recent pregnancy, I went to the hospital at 37 weeks. Although I experienced Braxton Hicks contractions, there were no signs of true labor pains. My baby arrived on her scheduled c-section date, which was set three weeks earlier than my gestational due date. This scheduling was due to being a “high-risk pregnancy,” given my age and chronic hypertension. Also, after the age of 35, pregnancies are often labeled as geriatric pregnancies.
This time around, I had a male OBGYN, which was different in terms of lack of empathy and bedside manner— he was just more direct and to the point. Despite the absence of complications, I had to see a doctor weekly. My healing process was more tolerable and easier to maintain with this experience.
Which pregnancy was most memorable:
I must say that my last pregnancy was the most memorable, primarily because it was a significant test of faith. I was almost 6 weeks late before discovering I was pregnant. When I took a test, it came back positive. However, the visit to the doctor for an ultrasound revealed disheartening news—they couldn’t see anything, just an empty sac. It was a devastating moment.
The visit was supposed to be recorded because the plan was to document my pregnancy journey this time around. During the ultrasound, the technician could tell something was wrong. When he listened for my baby’s heartbeat and I didn’t hear anything, I asked my husband to stop filming. The technician referred us to the doctor. He said he saw the sac but could not see anything in it.
When we met with the doctor, she immediately asked me not to panic, but in my mind, I thought I had a miscarriage. She ordered bloodwork to check my HCG levels for the next 2-3 days. If the level increased, it meant I was still pregnant; if not, it meant I lost the baby. It was the longest week of testing my faith, EVER!
Despite the doctor’s advice not to panic, I did. Knowing how much my husband desired another child and being a man of faith, he began praying and casting away any negative outcomes. Additionally, I sought the support of my family and church prayer group to join in on the prayers. Talking to God, I said, “God, show me you are God! And if you could do this for me, I will never doubt you ever again,” and He did. He showed me He is God.
The following week, we went to the doctor for the follow-up ultrasound, and this time they saw my baby was there and there was a heartbeat. The doctor said my HGC level increased, and that sometimes this happens, which is why she wanted me to do the blood work to confirm. What a relief!
Due to my history of high blood pressure, I was induced three weeks early. I had to see a cardiologist to ensure my heart was strong enough. I was frequently visiting doctors because they considered me high-risk due to both my age and ethnicity. I also had appointments with a Maternal-Fetal Medicine (MFM) doctor and went to two appointments every week, which was costly. Fortunately, for the first time, I qualified for Medicaid, which helped tremendously. It was just another way of God showing me that He had me and would take care of me.
Describe health complications you experienced either during or after childbirth for any of your pregnancies:
For Mya’s birth, there were no complications. However, two years after her arrival, I experienced high blood pressure.
On the other hand, my second pregnancy was remarkably traumatic. Shortly after delivery, I had to undergo a blood transfusion due to critically low hemoglobin levels—an experience that even led to me fainting. The challenges persisted, and ten days later, I found myself back in the hospital for an additional three days due to post-eclampsia. My blood pressure had escalated into the triple digits, reaching levels dangerously close to a stroke. Persistent headaches added to the complications, requiring a change in my medication. This pregnancy turned out to be the most challenging one. Despite the difficulties, I affectionately call her Serenity, and interestingly, she’s not the most peaceful of all my kids. It’s almost as if the second child, in a way, tests your inner gangster.
What was unique about each pregnancy:
With my first pregnancy, I was at the prime of my career therefore it was hard to embrace the whole motherhood thing. I knew I wanted to start a family but didn’t think it was going to be right away after getting married. I wanted to enjoy and travel!
Dealing with the pain after childbirth and a c-section was not easy, and to add the lack of sleep was all a lot. A month after childbirth I was diagnosed with postpartum depression (PPD). Initially, I thought it was just the baby blues as did my family but after 8 weeks I kind of knew it was more than just baby blues, my mindset was off. I discussed it with my OBGYN and she diagnosed me with PPD. She also recommended counseling but I did not follow through due to shame. Traditionally counseling is not something that is easily accepted in my culture, therefore, doing it on my own was the only way. My partner at the time didn’t grasp my situation and assumed that all I needed was lots of prayer. I felt isolated, without a supportive network to understand what I was going through. I felt I was robbed of the emotional bonding experience that every mother is supposed to have with their baby because I was struggling so much with PPD and the thought of returning to work. What got me through PPD was a lot of self-help, talking to friends and families, and being more active. Also as my baby got older things became easier. By four months she was sleeping throughout the night so I was able to get my sleep back and adjust better. My new normal became more settled as my baby got older.
During my second pregnancy after childbirth, I also suffered from PPD. However, this time around my past experiences helped to get the proper treatment through therapy.
Each of my pregnancies, and the unique circumstances surrounding them, has undeniably strengthened my faith and deepened my relationship with God. My first child taught me the unwavering truth that God will neither leave nor forsake me. The experience with my second pregnancy imparted a valuable lesson: to seek God in every aspect of my life and to embrace self-love through His eyes. Most recently, my third pregnancy has been a lesson in patience, teaching me the importance of being peaceful and trusting in the Lord’s timing.
How long did you experience Postpartum after each pregnancy:
My first pregnancy, the postpartum, lasted for almost a year. The Second was for six months. And my third, this time around, I really don’t feel like I am experiencing it like I did. I have had moments of it, but I feel like it’s more baby blues than postpartum because I know what signs to watch out for.
What were the first words or sentiments you expressed to each child:
The sight of each of my children’s small hands and delicate features always filled me with awe, leading me to reflect, “God, you are truly wonderful” to create something so small and perfect. I recall looking at my most recent baby and saying to her “Oh wow you are here.” She was so small.
Describe the feeding method you choose for your children:
Breastfeeding posed challenges with my first, primarily due to postpartum depression. Connecting with my baby was also difficult, and I eagerly looked forward to returning to work. As a result, she was mainly formula-fed. With my second, despite the intention to breastfeed, the birth control I was on limited my milk supply. Now, with my third, I’m embracing a combination of breast milk and formula. I find joy in the bonding experience of having her latch on, and I’m taking my time before returning to work. While her first week relied on formula as my milk hadn’t come in, I’m now committed to pumping at least 4 times a day and allowing her to latch between meals.
Describe the unique characteristics of each of your children and note which parent they most closely resemble:
My firstborn resembles her dad: she’s my investment child. I was younger and had the energy to expose her to different kids’ clubs and activities. She’s my calm, cool, and collected child.
My second-born definitely resembles and acts like me. She’s my girly girl who loves to be a princess with tiaras and tutus. She will test you but the funny one as well.
As for my third, being an infant, she resembles her dad. It’s still too early to determine her personality.
Describe the difficulties you’ve faced in parenting multiple children:
The most difficult part about parenting multiple children is carving out time for each child. One week I may take my middle child to the nail shop for a spa day just for us. Spending time with her and making it quality and all about her. Another week I may take my oldest daughter out for a mommy and me date to do whatever it is she wants to do making it all about her. It’s important to me to spend one-on-one time with each child, letting them know I am here, and navigating each of their needs given the age gap.
What are some common misconceptions about being a mother of multiple children:
One misconception is not loving each of them the same or having time to spend with each child individually.
The challenge I have had with parenting multiple children is how to meet each of their needs at their stages. My 11-year-old who is a preteen is different from my 4-month-old.
Therefore, I joined a group at church called “Praying Parents” where we learn about the different stages of parenting and what to do in each stage, navigating each child’s needs, finding that 1:1 time, and figuring out what each child’s interests are. This is a group you can probably find at your local churches if you ask. I was glad to join this group as it is much needed.
“Mothers hold their children’s hands for a short while, but their hearts forever. My two greatest blessings, as long as I live, I will hold your hand and your hearts. Thank you, Lord, for trusting me to raise them.”
—–Naija Khloe
Reflect on the concept of favoritism or varying bonds between children and parents and how you navigate these dynamics:
The diverse personalities of my children significantly impact the dynamics of our interactions. This doesn’t imply favoritism, but acknowledges the variations in their temperaments. For instance, my oldest is laid-back, easy-going, and easy to talk to. However, dealing with the toddler stage of my second child, who tends to whine more, may test my patience and occasionally leave me feeling overwhelmed.
Recognizing and understanding these differences is an important step in tailoring my approach to meet the unique needs of each child. Patience, flexibility, and communication can help navigate these distinct personalities while seeking a positive connection.
If given the chance, reflecting on your journey to motherhood can you identify any specific moments you would approach differently:
I’ve learned from my first two that it is okay to take time off to be there to bond and nurture your child. Your job and career will be there. I rushed back to work after only 8 weeks from a c-section. But with this last baby, I’m taking the full 12 weeks off to bond and take care of myself.
Based on your motherhood experience, what are some takeaways or insights you can offer other mothers:
Each pregnancy is unique, and so is each child. I believe you have to make it your own, enjoy the process, and not be too afraid to ask for help. I was inspired to share my story for the opportunity to possibly make an impact on another mother who is struggling with the same things I have. Initially, I was skeptical, but that was out of fear and judgment. However, no parenting story is perfect. We are all just navigating this thing called life. So, if my story can help just one person, I feel I have served a meaningful purpose.
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