On the morning of April 24, 2017, I was at home working on homework on a regular day. I was in graduate school at the time. As I drowned myself in the lesson, all of a sudden, a thought came to mind. “When was my last period?” I asked myself! At the time, on purpose, I wanted a child. Nevertheless, I stopped working on my assignment and decided to take a pregnancy test out of curiosity. Thankfully I had a pregnancy test handy. Of course, I did not expect anything, especially not to see two lines. After taking the Clear Blue pregnancy test, I waited for a couple of minutes, and then my jaw dropped.
Immediately I was on the phone with my best friend, shouting for joy, “I AM PREGNANT.” If you know me, you know I am beyond dramatic. However, I calmed down and explained the entire situation to her about why I decided to take a pregnancy test. She was very supportive and congratulated me, and I could hear the genuine smile on her face. That was a Friday. On Monday, I scheduled an appointment with my primary care doctor to get confirmation. Yup, it was confirmed, “you are pregnant,” the doctor said. Six weeks pregnant! Interestingly enough, four weeks prior, I visited the same doctor for my yearly check-up and inquired about getting pregnant, asking for advice on what to do, not knowing I was already pregnant but too soon to detect.
How many pregnancy tests did you take after finding out you were pregnant?
Total, I took three. Two at home pregnancy tests and one urine test at my doctor’s office. All results were positive.
Were there any signs before finding out you were pregnant?
Yes, the entire month of April, I experienced severe pounding headaches. Specifically, in the back of my head, that would not go away. I recall telling my mother about my headache, but never did I contributed it to being pregnant. Another sign was missing my period. I have never missed a period; therefore, that was an obvious sign.
Who was the first person you told after finding out you were pregnant?
After finding out I was pregnant, I called my best friend immediately. Nevertheless, I wanted to wait to tell my boyfriend at the time in person, so I waited until he got home that night to reveal the good news. When he got home, I lingered for about 10 minutes (I could not hold the news), then handed him the positive pregnancy test, and he foolishly acted like he fainted, fallen onto the living room floor while smiling and in disbelief.
What did you want the gender of your baby to be?
Honestly, in my heart, I knew I was having a girl. #Teamgirl! But I was in denial for a while hoping it would be a boy for Dale. He wanted a boy.
What was your worst experience during pregnancy?
I developed this nasty, very painful hemorrhoid that left me to the point I could not sit on my bottom. It was worst than the contractions. It was an excruciating nonstop type of pain. I had the option to have it surgically removed but decided not to because of the pain medication that could pass down to my unborn child. Therefore, I endure the pain and sat my butt in warm Epsom salt water about 4-5 times per day. And I also wore a pregnancy belt to help support the baby’s weight. The struggle was very real! But, through it, all Dale was there! He was there through the grotesque moments and aided as my nurse. I was thankful for him and his bravery.
How much weight did you gain?
Honestly, I ate everything and anything. I did not hold back. I took the term “eating for two” very literally. I think that’s how certain people knew I was pregnant. I ate cheese fries from Chili’s, and I think almost every other day. Chinese food was my favorite. One rule I did follow was avoiding food pregnant women should not eat. I followed my guidebook and took it very seriously. So one food I ate after delivery was a hotdog, like six months after.
I was about 135-140 when I found out I was pregnant. On the day of the delivery, I was 185 pounds. I gained about 45-50 pounds my whole pregnancy. I do not advise this. However, my doctor monitored me closely and did not express concerns about the weight gain.
When was your expected due date, and when did you actually give birth?
My due date was December 17, 2017. I gave birth on December 3, 2017.
Walk us through the day your water broke?
I had a birthing plan in place. I took two weeks off to rest up before my due date. Friday, December 1, 2017, was my last physical day at the office. I remember discussing with my boss about last-minute tasks, etc., and all of a sudden, I felt a weird sensation down there (like a kick), as if my baby was knocking. It went away after a brief moment, and I went on about my day. The next day, Saturday morning, December 2, I was up at 6 am. I had a hunch to get up and get ready to head out of the house. For some reason, I knew I did not want to be alone. I try to convey to Dale I did not desire to be alone. My fear was going into labor alone. So that Saturday morning, I drove to my parent’s house and spent the entire day with my niece, who was four years old at the time.
We got manicures and pedicures. We ate, then went shopping from stores to stores: Walmart, Target, and Burlington Coat Factory, searching for last-minute baby stuff. We spent about 5-6 hours out shopping. By the end of the day, I was wobbling, feet burning, just tired! I recall my niece at the time singing aloud every store we went to the ” head, shoulders, knees and toes” song on repeat. Priceless memory.
After the long day of shopping, we arrived at my parent’s house around 7:30 pm. We ate and were getting ready to head over to my place. My mom prepared me some soup, so I left my niece in the house to put our things in the car. It was about 8:15 pm! I leaned over from the driver’s side to the passenger side to put the soup on the floor of the car, and all of a sudden, I heard a pop (more like a swosh), and right after, water started leaking from down there. My mom was outside with me, so I yelled out to her, ” mom, I think my water broke,” in excitement and disbelief because my baby was not due for another two weeks. My mom responded, “shush, we are outside. Stop talking loud!.” I was excited but at the same time confused because, generally, in the movies, when the pregnant woman’s water breaks immediately, there is pain (contractions) and everyone panicking. However, I was completely normal, except for the leaking. I called the on-call nurse line, and they advised me to head over to the hospital. Luckily I was about 15-20 minutes away from the hospital. I called Dale in excitement to tell him my water broke and for him to get our hospital bags and head over to the hospital. Mines and Dalilah’s hospital bags were pack and ready, so that part was easy. All he had to do was go to the apartment and get them.
Right after my water broke, my brother Amos arrived on the scene. He said he was at the store and something told him to return home. I called it “godsent.” He was right on time to take me to the hospital. While my brother drove to the hospital, I still felt no pain. I felt nothing but minor water leakage. So I yahoo-search “after your water breaks, are you supposed to feel contractions?” The answer was not necessarily. When we arrived at the hospital, still no pain, it wasn’t until about midnight when the painful contractions started.
I anticipated how the contractions would feel; I wanted to know the unknown! So when the contraction started, I was taken back a little. My birthing plan was to opt-out of the epidural but at the same time open to it just in case. So I asked my nurses when would be the latest I would be able to get the epidural. I cannot recall if she told me 6 or 7 centimeters, but I endured the pain for a while. I remember my nurse giving me different options to deal with the pain. We walked around, got on the yoga ball, but then at 8 or 9 centimeters, I decided to myself, “if I’m going to be in this much distress, It won’t be a comfortable birth.” Sadly I told my nurse I would get the epidural. My decision saddened me, but I knew I would have been in too much distress if I continue to be in that much pain. My nurses were so supportive. My primary nurse encouraged me that I did good and that I should be proud of myself. Because Dale was not at the hospital yet, the nurse manager bear-hugged me to keep me comfortable while receiving the epidural. I was scared for my life because the epidural procedure is extremely daunting. If you move when getting the epidural, you could risk becoming paralyzed. Therefore, when my nurse said bear-hug her and not move, that is precisely what I did. I did not even feel the needle go into my spine.
Dale did not arrive at the hospital until 7 am the next day, right on time for delivery. I started pushing around 7:30 am and I must say, my nurse practitioner was amazing. You can say she deliver my baby. She talked me through the entire process. She instructed me how to push, and I did exactly what she said. Pushing was like a natural thing for me. The nurse noted when Dalilah’s head was showing, “wow, she has so much hair. Do you want to see?” Of course, I said yes, so I had the luxury of a birth mirror to see my baby’s hair before she came out and the entire birth process. I remember when Dalilah’s head started to crown as I pushed as if she helped me push her out at the final push. It was astonishing. Right, when her head crowned, the doctor came in and said, “let me help you out there,” and cut me so Dalilah can come out effortlessly. I assume she did this to prevent me from vaginal tearing. I could not feel any pain. All I felt was an overwhelming feeling of joy as my baby was placed in my arms. Tears of joy rushed me as I held my baby. My mom was right at the door when Dalilah was born. She came in excited and consoling Dale and I as we were crying. A moment I will forever cherish. She was born December 3, 2017, at 8:05 am.
Did you get an epidural?
I was determined to give birth without the epidural. However, when I got to 8 or 9 centimeters dilated, I decided it was too much pain and wanted to have my baby without being in distress. Lord knows I was in distress. When the contractions came, they were no joke. The only way I can describe it is to imagine electricity shocking you in your lower back for 1-2 minutes straight. After the insertion of the epidural, labor was so much easier.
What were your first words to your baby?
“It’s okay momma” were my first words to my baby.
Dalilah came out crying, they gave her to me and I whispered those words to her. She quiet down and laid on my chest peacefully.
Did you have any health complications during or after childbirth?
I developed Postpartum preeclampsia after childbirth.
“Postpartum preeclampsia is a rare condition that occurs when you have high blood pressure and excess protein in your urine soon after childbirth. Most cases of postpartum preeclampsia develop within 48 hours of childbirth. However, postpartum preeclampsia sometimes extends up to six weeks or later after childbirth. This is known as late postpartum preeclampsia” (Mayo Clinic).
After giving birth, I developed severe breast engorgement to the point my breast was rock solid hard. The pain was excruciating. I was dealing with psychological distress for not being able to produce breastmilk, physical pain from my breast being engorged, and pain from the epidural wearing off. However, the joy of having my daughter exceeded the physical pain and made me more stronger but exhausted. We were discharged from the hospital on December 5.
I started experiencing severe headaches that would not go away, maybe around December 8. On December 12, I called my nurse from my gynecologist office for advice and recommendations. After explaining my symptoms to her, she immediately directed me to go to a local pharmacy to check my blood pressure. I had no idea what was going on, so I went to the local pharmacy to check my blood pressure. My blood pressure was high. I spoke with the nurse again, and she said to monitor it and check back later and the following day. On December 13, I went to the local pharmacy to check my blood pressure, and this time it was severely higher at 168/108. The pharmacist there advised me to speak with my doctor because my blood pressure was too high. I called the nurse on my way back home, and she told me to go to the hospital immediately. I was in tears. I was scared and asked the nurse what was going on. She said, “your blood pressure is too high, and you could possibly have a seizure and die.” We drove to the hospital, leaving my baby with my mom. While at the hospital, I was back on the labor and delivery postpartum floor. My blood was taken for testing, and through an IV potassium was given to me. However, my blood pressure was still severely high. The doctor came in and told me that I was being admitted into the hospital that night due to my blood pressure being so high and needed further testing and monitoring.
Immediately without warning, I started sobbing uncontrollably. I asked, “what about my baby? I can’t leave my baby!” Doctor sympathized with me and tried to comfort me. I asked how long I would be in the hospital? The doctor said overnight, but not sure how long. I did not want to leave my newborn’s side. The option to bring my baby to stay with me at the hospital was offered to me. However, I opted to leave my baby with my mom. I decided it was not conducive to my baby’s wellness to be stuck at the hospital with me when she could be at home with my mom, who was taking good care of her.
I spent two nights/three days in the hospital (December 13- December 15). During my stay in the hospital, numerous testing were done. I completed an MRI and CT scan to make sure no bleeding or brain injury occurred from the Postpartum preeclampsia.
On December 15, I was discharged from the hospital, prescribed blood pressure medication, instructed to keep a journal for checking my blood pressure throughout the day (4x a day), and to purchase a blood pressure machine.
I kept my journal with me, took my blood pressure through the day, took my medication, ate healthier, and exercised a little. It was not an easy journey, but it became a routine, as I was determined to win. As time went by, my blood pressure started to be in the normal range consistently.
What do you enjoy about being a mom?
Motherhood is the greatest gift that nothing can replace. I cherish all the moments and stay thankful for God, allowing me the opportunity to experience childbirth and now parenting. I take pride in how I speak to my child as I model for her. I do not take any moment for granted. It’s crucial for me that I show my child the right way. That I demonstrate and communicate with her what’s right from wrong. Since birth, I have talked to Dalilah by having conversations. Children understand when you think they don’t. Therefore, be mindful of what you are putting in the air.
I enjoy all the priceless moments, and there are so many.
Anything outrageous happened at the hospital?
Yes, one. My child’s race was categorized as “white.” A black nurse made me aware of it, and she alerted the hospital administration to correct the error. My nurse seemed more upset and offended for me than I was. I really appreciate nurses.
Another funny thing that happened was, the nurse manager was so upset with Dale because he did not arrive at the hospital until 7 am the next day. He was supposed to go home and get our bags and head to the hospital but ended up fallen asleep. I think she was more upset with him than I was. I remember when he walked into the room, she was not having it. She gave him a look of disgust. Best nurse ever! I really appreciated her support, although she may have gone a little overboard.
Other than that, I had a pleasant experience with every nurse and doctor I encounter at Memorial Hermann Hospital. I love the Memorial Hermann Healthy system.
Any do-overs or regrets:
The labor and delivery process was easy for me because of my nurses. My nurses took excellent care of me. I thanked them verbally, but I genuinely wanted to thank them by sending flowers or giving them pictures of my baby. I just felt compel to tell them how much I appreciated them. That is one thing I wish I could do-over that I had remembered their names to send them a thank you card. I tear up just thinking about how good they were to me. Thank God for those nurses.
Maternity Fotos
Who shot your maternity shoot?
Sunya Louis Photography by Marie Sonnier. https://www.sunyalouisphotos.com/
