On the morning of April 23, 2017, I was at home, immersed in my graduate school homework. As I drowned myself in the lesson, all of a sudden, a thought came to mind. “When was my last period?” At the time, on purpose, I wanted a child. Nevertheless, I decided to pause my assignment and take a pregnancy test out of curiosity. Thankfully I had a pregnancy test handy. Of course, I did not expect anything, especially not to see two lines. After taking the Clear Blue pregnancy test, I waited for a few minutes, then my jaw dropped. Immediately I was on the phone with my best friend, shouting for joy, “I AM PREGNANT.” Anyone who knows me understands how dramatic I am. However, I calmed down and explained the situation in detail to my friend, sharing why I had taken the test. She was very supportive and congratulated me, and I could hear the genuine smile on her face. That happened on a Sunday, and the next day was Monday, so I promptly scheduled an appointment with my primary care doctor to confirm the pregnancy. Sure enough, the doctor confirmed, “You are pregnant!” I was six weeks along. Interestingly enough, four weeks prior, I visited the same doctor for my yearly check-up and inquired about getting pregnant, asking for advice on what to do, not knowing I was already pregnant but too soon to detect.
How many pregnancy tests did you take after finding out you were pregnant?
In total, I took three. Two at-home pregnancy tests and one urine test at my doctor’s office. All results were positive.
Were there any signs before finding out you were pregnant?
Yes, for the entire month of April, I experienced severe pounding headaches. Specifically, in the back of my head, that would not go away. I recall telling my mother about my headache, but never did I attributed it to being pregnant. Another sign was missing my period. I have never missed a period; that was an obvious sign.
Who was the first person you told after finding out you were pregnant?
After finding out I was pregnant, I called my best friend immediately. Nevertheless, I wanted to wait to tell my boyfriend at the time in person, so I waited until he got home that night to reveal the good news. When he got home, I lingered for about 10 minutes (I could not hold the news), then handed him the positive pregnancy test, and he foolishly acted like he fainted, fallen onto the living room floor while smiling and in disbelief.
What did you want the gender of your baby to be?
Honestly, in my heart, I knew I was having a girl. #Teamgirl! But I was in denial for a while, hoping it would be a boy for Dale. He wanted a boy.
What was your worst experience during pregnancy?
I developed this nasty, very painful hemorrhoid that left me to the point I could not sit on my bottom. It was worst than the contractions. It was an excruciating nonstop type of pain. I had the option to have it surgically removed but decided not to because of the pain medication that could pass down to my unborn child. Therefore, I endured the pain and sat my butt in warm Epsom salt water about 4-5 times per day. And I also wore a pregnancy belt to help support the baby’s weight. The struggle was very real! But, through it, all Dale was there! He was there through the grotesque moments and aided me as my nurse. I was thankful for him and his bravery.
How much weight did you gain:
Honestly, I ate everything and anything. I did not hold back. I took the term “eating for two” very literally. I think that’s how certain people knew I was pregnant. I ate cheese fries from Chili’s, and I think, almost every other day. Chinese food was my favorite. One rule I did follow was avoiding food pregnant women should not eat. I followed my guidebook and took it very seriously. So one food I ate after delivery was a hotdog, like six months after.
I was about 135-140 when I found out I was pregnant. On the day of the delivery, I was 185 pounds. I gained about 45-50 pounds during my whole pregnancy. I do not advise this. However, my doctor monitored me closely and did not express concerns about the weight gain.
When was your expected due date, and when did you actually give birth:
My due date was December 17, 2017. I gave birth on December 3, 2017.
Walk us through the day your water broke:
I had a birthing plan in place. I took two weeks off to rest before my due date. Friday, December 1, 2017, was my last physical day at the office. I remember discussing with my boss about last-minute tasks, etc., and all of a sudden, I felt a weird sensation down there (like a kick), as if my baby was knocking. It went away after a brief moment, and I went on about my day. The next day, Saturday morning, December 2, I was up at 6 am. I had a hunch to get up and get ready to head out of the house. For some reason, I knew I did not want to be alone. I tried to convey to Dale that I did not desire to be alone. My fear was going into labor alone. So that Saturday morning, I drove to my parent’s house and spent the entire day with my niece, who was four years old at the time.
After our day of pampering with manicures and pedicures, we embarked on a shopping spree, visiting various stores like Walmart, Target, and Burlington Coat Factory. Our mission was to find last-minute baby items, and we dedicated around 5-6 hours to our quest. By the end of the day, exhaustion had set in, and I found myself wobbling with burning feet and aching legs. Throughout our shopping adventure, my niece delightedly sang the “head, shoulders, knees, and toes” song at every store we entered, creating a priceless memory.
Upon returning to my parent’s house around 7:30 pm, we enjoyed a meal and prepared to head back to my place. My thoughtful mom even prepared some soup for me. As I was getting ready to leave, I left my niece inside the house and went to put the soup in the car. It was approximately 8:15 pm. Leaning over from the driver’s side to the passenger side, placing the soup on the car floor, I suddenly heard a pop followed by a rush of water leaking from down below. Excited and disbelieving because my due date was still two weeks away, I exclaimed to my mom, “Mom, I think my water broke!” My mom hushed me, reminding me we were outside and shouldn’t speak loudly. I was excited and confused at the same time because, generally, in movies, when the pregnant woman’s water breaks, it’s often accompanied by intense pain and panic. However, apart from the leakage, I felt completely normal. I immediately called the on-call nurse line, and they advised me to make my way to the hospital. Fortunately, the hospital was only 15-20 minutes away. Bursting with excitement, I called Dale to share the news and asked him to grab our hospital bags and meet me at the hospital. Thankfully, our bags were already packed and ready. So all he had to do was retrieve them from the apartment.
After my water broke, my brother Amos coincidentally arrived at the perfect moment. He had been at the store, but something compelled him to return home, which I considered a “godsent” occurrence. With Amos by my side, he took charge and drove me to the hospital. Throughout the car ride to the hospital, I experienced no pain, only a slight leakage of water. Curious about what to expect after your water breaks, I searched online, and the answer I found was that contractions aren’t necessarily immediate. Upon arrival at the hospital, I remained pain-free. It wasn’t until around midnight that the contractions finally began.
As the contractions began, I eagerly anticipated the sensation, wanting to embrace the unknown. However, when the first contraction hit, I was taken aback by the intensity. Though my initial birthing plan involved avoiding an epidural, I remained open to the possibility, just in case. I inquired with my nurses about the latest point at which I could receive the epidural. While I couldn’t recall if they said 6 or 7 centimeters, I decided to endure the pain for a while. My nurse provided me with various options to manage the discomfort. We walked around and tried using a yoga ball. However, when I reached around 8 or 9 centimeters, I made a personal decision. I realized that if I continued experiencing such distress, it wouldn’t be a comfortable birth experience for me. With a heavy heart, I informed my nurse that I would opt for the epidural. Though I felt a sense of sadness about deviating from my original plan, I knew it was the right choice to avoid excessive suffering. My nurses were incredibly supportive throughout the process. My primary nurse commended me for my efforts and encouraged me to be proud of myself. Since Dale had not arrived at the hospital yet, the nurse manager embraced me tightly, providing comfort while the epidural was administered. I felt a surge of fear, knowing that the procedure carried significant risks, including the possibility of paralysis if I moved at the wrong moment. Therefore, when my nurse instructed me to bear hug her and remain still, I followed her guidance diligently. Remarkably, I didn’t even feel the needle as it entered my spine, alleviating my fears in an instant.
Dale arrived at the hospital promptly at 7 am the following day, just in time for the delivery. Around 7:30 am, I began pushing, and I have to give credit to my incredible nurse practitioner who played a significant role in delivering my baby. She guided me through the entire process, providing instructions on how to push effectively. Pushing felt natural to me, and I followed her guidance closely.
During the pushing stage, the nurse noticed that Dalilah’s head was showing and exclaimed, “Wow, she has so much hair! Would you like to see?” Of course, I eagerly agreed, and the nurse arranged for a birth mirror, allowing me to witness the sight of my baby’s hair and the entire birthing process. I vividly remember the incredible moment when Dalilah’s head crowned as I pushed, almost as if she was aiding me in her own delivery. It was truly astonishing. Just as her head was crowning, the doctor entered the room and offered assistance, saying, “Let me help you out there.” The doctor performed an episiotomy, making a small incision to facilitate Dalilah’s smooth passage. I couldn’t feel any pain during the process, only an overwhelming surge of joy as my baby was placed in my arms. Tears of happiness flowed as I held my precious baby girl. My mother, who had been waiting outside the door, rushed in with excitement, consoling both Dale and me as we were overcome with emotion. It was a moment I will forever cherish.
Dalilah was born on December 3, 2017, at 8:05 am, marking the beginning of a beautiful journey as a family.
Did you get an epidural?
Despite my initial determination to give birth without an epidural, the intense pain I experienced at 8 or 9 centimeters dilated pushed me to reconsider. I found myself in significant distress, and the contractions were excruciating. It felt as if electric shocks were coursing through my lower back continuously for 1-2 minutes with each contraction. Realizing I needed relief, I made the difficult decision to opt for the epidural. After the epidural was administered, the labor process became much more manageable. The pain subsided, and I was able to navigate the remaining stages of labor with greater ease.
What were your first words to your baby?
“It’s okay, momma” were my first words to my baby.
Dalilah came out crying, they gave her to me, and I whispered those words to her. She quieted down and lay on my chest peacefully.
Did you have any health complications during or after childbirth?
I developed Postpartum preeclampsia after childbirth.
Postpartum preeclampsia is a rare condition that occurs when you have high blood pressure and excess protein in your urine soon after childbirth. Most cases of postpartum preeclampsia develop within 48 hours of childbirth. However, postpartum preeclampsia sometimes extends up to six weeks or later after childbirth. This is known as late postpartum preeclampsia (Mayo Clinic).
After giving birth, I experienced severe breast engorgement, causing my breasts to become rock solid and excruciatingly painful. This, along with the psychological distress of struggling to produce breast milk and the physical discomfort from the wearing off of the epidural, added to my exhaustion. However, the joy of having my daughter outweighed the physical pain and made me feel stronger. We were discharged from the hospital on December 5. Around December 8, I began experiencing severe headaches that persisted. On December 12, I reached out to a nurse at my gynecologist’s office, seeking advice and recommendations. Upon describing my symptoms, she immediately advised me to visit a local pharmacy to check my blood pressure. Unaware of what was happening, I followed her suggestion and found that my blood pressure was high. I spoke with the nurse again, and she instructed me to monitor it and check back later the following day. On December 13, I returned to the pharmacy to check my blood pressure once more, and this time it was alarmingly high at 168/108. The pharmacist expressed concern and urged me to contact my doctor, as my blood pressure was dangerously elevated. I called the nurse while on my way home, and she advised me to go to the hospital immediately. Filled with fear and tears, I questioned the nurse about what was happening. She informed me that my blood pressure was dangerously high and there was a risk of seizures and even death. We drove to the hospital, leaving my baby with my mom. Once at the hospital, I was placed on the labor and delivery postpartum floor. Blood tests were taken, and I was given potassium through an IV. Despite these interventions, my blood pressure remained severely elevated. The doctor informed me that I would be admitted to the hospital that night for further testing and monitoring due to the severity of my high blood pressure.
Upon hearing that I needed to be admitted to the hospital, I was overwhelmed with sadness and began sobbing uncontrollably. The thought of leaving my baby behind was devastating to me, and I expressed my concerns to the doctor. They sympathized with me and tried to provide comfort. I asked how long I would need to stay in the hospital, to which the doctor replied overnight, but the exact duration was uncertain. Although the option to bring my baby to stay with me at the hospital was presented, I made the difficult decision to leave her in the care of my mom. I believed that it would be better for her well-being to be at home with my mom rather than being confined in a hospital setting with me.
I spent two nights and three days in the hospital from December 13 to December 15. During my stay, I underwent various tests, including an MRI and CT scan, to ensure that there were no signs of bleeding or brain injury caused by postpartum preeclampsia.
On December 15, I was discharged from the hospital with a prescription for blood pressure medication. I was instructed to keep a journal to track my blood pressure throughout the day (four times a day) and advised to purchase a blood pressure monitor. With my journal in hand, I diligently monitored my blood pressure, took my medication as prescribed, made healthier food choices, and incorporated light exercise into my routine. It was a challenging journey, but I was determined to overcome it. Over time, my blood pressure started consistently falling within the normal range.
What do you enjoy about being a mom?
Motherhood is an irreplaceable gift that I deeply cherish. I am constantly grateful to God for granting me the opportunity to experience childbirth and now embark on the journey of parenting. Every moment with my child is precious; I do not take any of them for granted. It is of utmost importance to me that I set a positive example for my daughter through my words and actions. I strive to show her the right path and teach her the difference between right and wrong. From the moment she was born, I have engaged in conversations with her, knowing that children understand more than we may realize. Therefore, I am mindful of my words and messages, as I believe it significantly impacts her development.
I enjoy all the priceless moments, and there are so many.
Anything outrageous happened at the hospital?
During my hospital stay, there were a couple of memorable incidents. Firstly, a black nurse noticed that my child’s race was incorrectly categorized as “white” in the hospital records. She promptly brought it to the attention of the hospital administration to rectify the error. It was interesting to see how she was more upset and offended on my behalf than I was. I truly appreciate the dedication and vigilance of nurses like her.
On a lighter note, the nurse manager expressed her frustration with my partner, Dale, for arriving at the hospital late the next day. He was supposed to go home, gather our bags, and join me at the hospital, but he ended up falling asleep. The nurse manager seemed more annoyed with him than I was, and I couldn’t help but find it amusing. When Dale walked into the room, she gave him a look of disgust. Despite her sternness, I still appreciated her support throughout the experience, even if she may have been a bit overzealous.
Overall, I had a positive experience with the nurses and doctors at Memorial Hermann Health System. The Memorial Hermann Healthcare System has been exceptional, and I am grateful for the care and support I received during my time there.
Any do-overs or regrets:
The labor and delivery process was made so much easier for me because of the exceptional care provided by my nurses. Their dedication and support were invaluable, and I am truly grateful for their presence throughout the entire experience. I expressed my gratitude to them verbally, but I wished I had remembered their names so that I could send them a heartfelt thank-you card or some tokens of appreciation, such as flowers or pictures of my baby. Their kindness and attentiveness touched me deeply, and I am filled with emotion when I think about how wonderful they were to me. I feel incredibly blessed to have had such amazing nurses by my side, and I thank God for their presence during that special time.
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