After three years of trying to conceive, suffering a miscarriage, being diagnosed with endometriosis, and ovarian cysts, my hopes and dreams of becoming a mother, started to perish. Since I can remember, I have always wanted to be a mother. The first time I found out I was pregnant, we were ecstatic and filled with joy. And then, I had a miscarriage! The miscarriage was the worst experience of my life. I felt hopeless, less of a woman because I could not have a healthy pregnancy. I went through a period of sadness (deep sadness) where I was not talking with anyone, and no one knew much about what I had gone through. I went on with my day at work like nothing happened. After losing my baby, I lost hope; I was terrified of going through the process again and possibly experiencing another miscarriage.
In 2018, my OB/GYN referred me to a fertility doctor after discovering that I had a cyst on my left ovary. At that time, I knew all about ovarian cysts because I suffered from them. The fertility doctor recommended that the cyst be removed due to the size of it. It had grown from the size of an orange to the size of a grapefruit in less than two months. On December 10, 2018, I went through surgery to have the cyst removed. However, during surgery, the doctor found endometriosis wrapped up in my fallopian tube, causing a blockage in the tube. The endometriosis was also covering the cyst. The cyst was so large they could not remove the cyst without the ovary, as it was covering my entire ovary along with my tube. Endometriosis is like gum; therefore, it was sticking to my fallopian tube, ovary, and the cyst. Consequently, I went in for surgery to remove a cyst but came out with one fallopian tube and one ovary.
February 2019 I underwent an HSG procedure to ensure there was no blockage on my other fallopian tube, and thank God no blockage was found. Nevertheless, I still had one ovary and one fallopian tube left in hopes of having a baby one day. March 2019, after that whole ordeal, the fertility doctor recommended that I start taking the medication Fermara to aid in my ovulation process. While taking Fermara, I got injected with a medication call Ovidrel. Two weeks later, I found out through an ultrasound that another cyst was growing on my right ovary. And then we found out that one of the side effects of using Fermara is developing a cyst. We were devasted and lost as that information was not disclosed to us. We decided that we would no longer use the fertility doctor but instead get pregnant the natural way.
Through prayers and guidance, we found our perfect OB/GYN doctor, Dr. Benisha Wiltz-Kargou, who was referred by a good sister-friend. Dr. Wiltz-Kargou is an Obstetrics & Gynecology Specialist (OB/GYN) in the Tomball area. I began seeing Dr. Wiltz-Kargou in August 2019, and at my first visit, I knew she was the guidance that God had sent us. After my second visit with Dr. Wiltz-Kargou in September 2019, she advised me one of the ways I could put my endometriosis in dormant is to become pregnant. After talking it over with my husband, we agreed we would try to have a baby one last time before giving it a break. October 26, 2019, I found out I was pregnant.
When and how did you find out you were pregnant?
My cycles have always been consistent, my entire life. My period was supposed to come on October 21st, but it didn’t. I thought maybe it was going to be a few days late, so I waited five days before finally taking a pregnancy test. I contacted Dr. Wiltz-Kargou’s office on October 22nd, and advised her that I had a yeast infection. I questioned if having a yeast infection could delay my cycle, but she said no and instructed me to take a pregnancy test on the 5th day. Leading up to the positive pregnancy test, I noticed I couldn’t sleep at night and would be exhausted after work. My appetite had also slowed down. On October 25, I drove to CVS and purchased a First Response Pregnancy Test that came with three tests. I was so nervous when taking the test because I always wanted to be a mother and to be able to carry a pregnancy to full-term.
When I took the first test, I initially only saw one line. I laid the test on the sink to wash my hands. After washing my hands, I went to dry my hands, and noticed two lines on the pregnancy test, indicating pregnancy. At that moment, I was filled with panic and anxiety. Immediately, I called my mother crying and yelling. I also had a panic attack where I could not breathe. My mom had to walk me through my panic attack to calm me down so I could tell her what was going on. While I was on the phone with my mother, I took two more tests, and both results indicated pregnancy. Overjoyed, I scheduled my first prenatal appointment with Dr. Wiltz-Kargou.
I hid the exciting news from my husband because he had previously expressed to me on October 11th that he wanted a baby, specifically a baby girl for his birthday. His birthday is October 31st. So, I decided to wait to give him the news as his birthday present. As his birthday gift, I put in a box a onesie that read “for this child we prayed for,” and also included a pregnancy test.
How many pregnancy tests did you take?
In total, I took five pregnancy tests, to come to the realization I was actually pregnant.
Were there any signs before finding out you were pregnant?
Before finding out I was pregnant. I noticed having difficulty falling asleep at night and being exhausted after work more than usual. I also noticed my appetite decreased. Also, because of my hormonal changes, I developed a yeast infection, this was the most significant sign that I was pregnant, but I just didn’t know it.
Who was the first person you told about your pregnancy?
My mother was the first person I told after finding out I was pregnant. The second person was my cousin. The third person was my husband.
What did you want the gender of your baby to be?
I’ve always wanted to be a boy mom. My husband, on the other hand, wanted a girl. We found out the gender of our baby on January 3. “IT’S A BOY!”
What was your worst experience during pregnancy?
I am grateful to have carried a healthy baby to full-term. The worse experience during my pregnancy was feeling depressed due to a lack of emotional support. During pregnancy, you experience an increase in hormone production; therefore, your emotions are heightened, which led me feeling more emotional and needed more support.
How much weight did you gain?
Before pregnancy, I weighed 165lbs upon delivery; I weighed 208lbs. I gave birth to a healthy baby boy who weighed 7lbs 2oz. A fun fact to notate is that my birthday is July 2nd, which is also my baby boy’s birth weight.
When was your expected due date, and when did you actually give birth?
My due date was June 27, 2020. However, I was induced on June 19 by cesarean section, and my baby was delivered June 21, Father’s Day.
Walk us through the day your water broke or the birthing process?
My husband and I decided to go with the induction procedure. We arrived at the hospital on June 19, 2020. I must say being induced was not an easy process. Because my cervix would not become ripe on its own, I was given vaginal medications to ripen my cervix. This procedure is called “Medical cervical ripening.” June 20th, my contractions started 12 hours after the second dose of a different vaginal medicine was administered due to the first medicine, not making me dilate.
The contractions were something serious and very intense! The contractions came every four minutes and lasted 90 seconds long. When the contractions came, I started having hot flashes, became nauseous to the point I started throwing up. I was 3 centimeters dilated when I requested the epidural. Shortly after the epidural was administered, I felt a gush of fluid coming out of my vaginal area. My water broke! Initially, I thought I was urinating on myself, but the nurse checked me and confirmed my water had broken. Not only did my water break, but there was also small meconium with the fluids that came out. The medical team did not raise concerns at that moment.
During labor, my baby’s heart rate began to drop drastically. I was placed in several positions to help my baby move further down in the birth canal. On the night of June 20th, around 11 PM, he quickly dropped further into my birth canal, 5 centimeters dilated to 7 centimeters. Come to find out my water was not entirely broken, so more fluid came out along with more meconium. His heart rate began to drop and fell to the 80s range. Therefore, Dr. Kargou gave us two options, to have an emergency C-section or try to cushion my cervix by insertion of fluids. The idea of cushioning my cervix by inserting fluids could still result in having a C- section, so my husband and I decided to go with the emergency C-section. At 2:41 AM, our baby boy Adonis J. Durand was born, weighing 7lbs 2oz.
Did you get an epidural?
Yes, at 3 centimeters dilated, I got the epidural. While getting the epidural, I must say, I had a pleasant experience. My nurse Trina was amazing! During the procedure, no one is allowed in the room other than the nurse, anesthesiologist, and myself. Nurse Trina talked me through the epidural process and contractions. I went through 3 prolonged contractions while getting the epidural inserted.
however, I experience some side effects from the medications that were administered through my IV. I developed severe shakes to the point I could not control my movements. In result, my jaw was sore from my teeth clenching.
Do you remember your first words to your baby?
After Adonis was delivered, the nurse cleaned him up and brought him over to meet me. I kissed his face and told him, “mommy loves you so much, son.”
Did you have any health complications during or after childbirth?
Praise God. I did not have any health complications during or after childbirth.
What’s the best thing you enjoy about being a mom?
I love everything about being a mother, from changing his diapers, breastfeeding him, holding him, reading books to him, hearing him cry, and watching him sleep. I sincerely prayed for this child, and I am forever grateful to God and will cherish every moment.
What has been the hardest part of being a mom?
One of the hardest parts about being a mom is the lack of sleep you get before and after delivery. Almost everyone told me to rest before Adonis arrival, but how could I, when I was uncomfortable at night. No one could answer that question.
Any do-overs or regrets:
For the future, should God bless us with another child, I would not choose labor Induction. I would allow the natural birthing process. I don’t regret getting induced, but I ponder if the contractions would be the same had I dilated on my own without medications forcing me to do so.
Any take away or advice?
I would recommend Dr. Wiltz-Kargou to anyone who is in need of a fantastic caring OB/GYN. After so many doctors told me I couldn’t conceive on my own, Dr. Wiltz-Kargou told me, “yes, you can!” She believed in me, and I trusted her. Dr. Wiltz-Kargou was patient with me from day one, and I appreciate everything she has done and continues to do.
Who shot your maternity shoot?
Photos taken by Stephanie Ferguson with RaeKade Photography
About The Author
