Hey, y’all! I’m Katherine—a Digital Content Creator and Interior Decorator on Instagram and YouTube! I have a passion for creating content, focusing primarily on DIY projects, styling small spaces, and now, sharing my journey into motherhood and postpartum life since recently becoming a proud momma of a baby girl! My journey to motherhood began in 2020 when my husband and I experienced our first unforeseen miscarriage. I didn’t talk to anyone about it at the time because I felt an overwhelming sense of shame. I believed I had failed my baby, and my body had failed me. I was consumed by grief and anger—angry with myself and angry with God. To avoid confronting these painful emotions, I threw every ounce of my mental and physical energy into my social media channels. Ironically, that same year brought me the highest accolades in my career—from being featured on the Today Show to having a spotlight on Wall Street and partnering with major brands. Despite these achievements, I was BROKEN-hearted, and no one knew. The thought of trying to conceive again weighed so heavily on me that I couldn’t imagine having children anytime soon.
However, God had other plans! It was May 2, 2021, and we were at a Mother’s Day church service when a man asked to take our photo in front of a floral backdrop. As he prepared to snap the picture, everything around me seemed to move in slow motion. I felt an unexpected wave of stillness and overwhelming peace. In real-time, I clearly heard God say that we would be pregnant by this time next year. I even envisioned us standing in front of that same floral backdrop—only this time, I would be pregnant. In shock and excitement, I turned to my husband and said, “God said we are going to be pregnant next year!” The man snapped our photo, and everything returned to normal. My husband, of course, hesitantly nodded in agreement because who am I to say we were going to be pregnant at a specific time?!
Then came May 9, 2022—Mother’s Day, exactly one year later—and, sure enough, we were pregnant, just as God had promised. His word did NOT return void! Our baby girl arrived right on her due date at 40 weeks. She is our miracle baby, our blessing.
A little backstory: my husband and I have been married for six years! We realized we were ready to have kids one holiday season when the house was fully decorated, and we could picture our own children running around, tearing open gifts, and celebrating with us. I couldn’t shake the feeling that something was missing. The desire for a child grew so strong that I couldn’t stop dreaming about it. So, a year later, we decided to try and trusted God with the outcome. It was a mix of joy, desperation, and fear because, with pregnancy, you realize how much is out of your control. You want something so badly—a baby—that it truly becomes a waiting game. I didn’t even check my cycle app because I didn’t want the disappointment of seeing my period. Instead, we went on dates and continued living our lives. It’s funny, during that waiting period, we would often say to each other, “Oh, it would be nice to be pregnant right now…” Little did we know, we were already pregnant—and it happened fairly quickly!
When and how did you find out you were pregnant:
I found out I was pregnant in March. I had gone to my weekly Zumba class, but that day, my body felt incredibly sore and exhausted—like I had run a race before even stepping into the class. Every dance move was much harder to achieve, even the simplest ones. I was completely out of breath! My body felt fatigued, and my breasts were heavy. I honestly thought my period was approaching because these were the exact same symptoms.
As I was driving home, I could barely stay awake! Something kept nagging at me to get a pregnancy test. I didn’t really think I could be pregnant, so I figured stopping to get one would just rule out the idea. I went to the Dollar Store and bought two boxes of pregnancy tests and an ovulation test. When I got home, I took both tests, and to my surprise, one of the pregnancy tests came back positive! I was in disbelief! I decided to spend a little more on a higher-quality test, and sure enough, it also came back positive! When I went back to check the original test that had shown negative, it suddenly had two lines as well! I was definitely pregnant—haha!
How many pregnancy tests did you take for confirmation:
Haha, I ended up taking four tests! I was still in disbelief, so I even went to the doctor to make sure I was really pregnant—so that makes five!
What early signs or symptoms did you notice before confirming your pregnancy:
Looking back, there were quite a few signs: my breasts were fuller and heavier, and despite drinking several cups of caffeinated tea, I couldn’t stay awake. I was also incredibly exhausted for days on end. The final confirmation was like the cherry on top—I vividly remember one evening being VERY specific about what I wanted for dinner. I craved crispy drumsticks, and it had to be from a specific restaurant. I could see it and taste it! Little did I know, it was the beginning of me identifying all my cravings. Each craving was very specific and visual.
Who was the first person you confided in after finding out you were pregnant:
In my excitement, I frantically called two of my closest friends—both named Ebony! I couldn’t wait until my husband got home; I just had to tell someone. I didn’t know how to feel—it was ALL such a shock!
What did you hope the gender of your baby would be:
Hope? I was convinced my baby would be a boy based on my dreams and all those “old wives’ tales.” Boy, was I wrong! Here’s a link to my gender reveal.
Describe the most challenging aspect of your pregnancy:
I overthought everything! As an orphan, I didn’t have the support of a maternal figure to guide or assist me with advice on what we needed as first-time parents. I reached out to many of my friends who are moms, for which I’m truly grateful for. Still, I was hesitant to create a registry, not knowing who would buy from it if not my parents.
My husband and I did the bulk of the preparation for EVERYTHING! Building, organizing, researching, planning, shopping, appointments, creating a bedside nursery, purchasing, figuring out new baby equipment, figuring out which bottle is best, planning our gender reveal, etc. No matter how much I planned to go at my pace, it was still too much for me. Which ultimately made me revisit the fact that I would be parenting without parents.
Walk us through the birthing process, the day your water broke:
So my water never broke! I made it to 40 weeks, full term, on a Sunday. My next OB appointment was scheduled for Monday to discuss induction. That morning, as I was getting ready for church, I felt the Holy Spirit tell me that I would go into labor that day. After church, my husband and I went to a restaurant, and I experienced what I thought was just another Braxton Hicks contraction—something I’d been having on and off since week 36. We finished our meal, grabbed the check, and went home to labor there, but the contractions were very irregular and mild.
It wasn’t until that night that I noticed tiny droplets of blood, which I later realized was my mucus plug being released. That’s when it all became real. We called our doctor, and he advised us to head to the hospital.
When we arrived at the hospital, it was confirmed that I was in labor and having contractions, but there was a catch—I wasn’t dilated, and my water hadn’t broken. We spent a few hours there as my contractions started to pick up rapidly. The pain became unbearable, but despite all this, I had only dilated up to 1 cm. Unfortunately, they had to send us home because I wasn’t far enough along. I really wanted an epidural, but to get one, you need to be at least 4 cm dilated, and I hadn’t made enough progress. I wasn’t happy about it, but I understood.
Back at home, I labored for another 2.5 hours, but the pain was too much to bear, so we headed back to the hospital. By this time, I was finally 4 centimeters dilated, and I quickly requested an epidural, which I received. I opted for an epidural because I KNOW my pain tolerance. By that point, I had labored unmedicated for 10 hours.
When I was admitted to the hospital, my doctor came to break my water, and by that time, I was six centimeters dilated. A while after, I experienced complications during labor. I later discovered that my daughter’s heart rate kept dropping significantly. There was no change despite being rolled over and placed in different positions. My doctor had to be called back three times, and eventually, he recommended a C-section to avoid the situation escalating into an emergency procedure or a more critical issue.
My husband and I had discussed the possibility of this scenario beforehand. We understood that labor can be unpredictable, no matter how much preparation we did. Without hesitation, we agreed to proceed with the C-section.
The Cesarean team was probably our favorite team at the hospital! They were kind, communicative, helpful, and efficient. They not only became our surgeons but photographers too! We truly felt like we were in GREAT hands. Shortly after, I met my baby! Oh, what a moment I will never forget!
What were the first words or sentiments you expressed to your newborn:
The first time I cried, I said, “She makes noises!” and immediately burst into tears. It was such an out-of-body experience. For a moment, everything around me ceased to exist. I didn’t hear the noises around me, nor did I focus on the fact that I was being stitched up. My entire attention was on my baby—her eyelashes, lips, cheeks… I couldn’t believe she was physically here. I was completely mesmerized and in awe. Absolutely nothing else in the world mattered.
Describe any health complications you may have experienced during or after childbirth:
I experienced a range of mental health challenges during postpartum, including severe Postpartum Depression, Anxiety, Hypervigilance, and intrusive thoughts. Physically, I dealt with discoloration in my neck and stomach, blurry vision from breastfeeding, hair loss, a loss of identity, and so much more.
I had dealt with depression and anxiety in the past, so I knew I would be at risk of experiencing it postpartum. I tried to prepare as much as possible, even hiring a Postpartum Doula to prioritize my rest, but what I learned from my postpartum therapist is that you don’t get to choose. What I believe caused so much depression and anxiety was the reality of parenting without parents. We began our journey into parenthood with a partial stranger, and it wasn’t until later that I realized how much I needed my baby and how crucial it was to be surrounded by physical support and love.
We had our daughter during the holiday season, so we spent Christmas alone. My husband and I knew NOTHING about babies. We were running on 2-3 hours of sleep, and I was breastfeeding around the clock and pumping due to an overproduction of milk. I was trying to heal from a C-section; my mind was overwhelmed, filled with countless thoughts, and I was drowning in mental and emotional heaviness that I couldn’t even put into words or fully understand what was happening. It felt like I was going through the motions, and I was alone, battling this struggle all on my own. I loved my baby, but I was sad all the time. Both my husband and I were far beyond our window of tolerance. Where was the village everyone said would be there for us? We needed more help than we realized, but we didn’t trust anyone, nor did we know how to accept help. I wish I had known that this was a common experience for new parents.
The first thing we did was seek out therapy. We joined free therapy classes on Postpartum Support International to fill in the time we didn’t see our personal therapist. A few months later, I found a Postpartum therapist, which had to be one of the best decisions I could have made during postpartum! She helped me understand motherhood and what I was feeling emotionally and mentally, and she became an extension of our village. She provided the extra support and encouragement I needed at that time. I would HIGHLY recommend seeking out a Postpartum therapist if possible.
What was your expected due date, and when did you actually give birth:
My daughter arrived on her exact due date!
Describe the weight gain you experienced during your pregnancy:
Throughout my pregnancy, I gained the expected amount of weight and ended up at 160 pounds by the time I was full-term.
Describe the aspects of motherhood that bring you the most joy:
Watching my baby grow has been the most incredible experience! Every little development just blows me away—my body made her, intricately detailed in every way. One of the things I cherish most is that I had the chance to breastfeed her for 19 months. I truly love being a momma and giving her all the love I have.
What has been the most challenging part of motherhood:
Parenting without parents or grandparents has been one of the most challenging aspects of our journey.
What are some common misconceptions about motherhood or the path to becoming a mother:
This is less of a misconception but advice I wish I had realized beforehand: Your village may look differently than you expected. It can come at a cost (financially or through boundaries). Take that as you will– Your village will be an extension of childcare workers, teachers, pediatricians, babysitters, nannies, daycare, etc. It may not always be a biological family, but that’s the beauty part about community!
Describe any remarkable or unexpected events that occurred during your hospital stay:
Our doctor visited us every day we were in the hospital! He runs a private practice with credentials at specific hospitals where he delivers, and he drove over each day to check on both our baby and me. I felt incredibly special and well taken care of.
If given the chance, reflect on your journey to motherhood and identify any specific moments you would approach differently:
I have no regrets, but I would approach a few things differently in the postpartum period. Having experienced the newborn stage, I now have a clearer understanding of what I need moving forward. For instance, if possible, I would arrange for a meal train to provide consistent support. I would also schedule therapy appointments much earlier—ideally within the first week of bringing our baby home. I would openly ask all of my friends who can help with tasks like dishes, meals, cleaning, unboxing, and organizing baby products. So now that we are more experienced in vetting nannies and babysitters, it gives us greater confidence about who we will request help from.
I would also ask my friends to check on me daily. Even if it’s to pray, ask how I’m really doing, or send encouragement. I would even be more vocal about my needs from my husband. Many times, he would help by taking the baby off my hands, but as I mentioned before, I didn’t know it then, but I needed my baby, and she needed me. So I would ask him for other things, such as making sure my water jug is filled, food is ready, etc.
How did you capture your maternity shoot:
I captured all of our photos! We were in New York, and I set up my tripod to capture our pregnancy photos. I did the same for our Christmas photos!
Based on your motherhood experience, what are some takeaways or insights you can offer other mothers:
Go at your own pace! If you are dealing with postpartum anxiety, depression, fear, or whatever, take your time making decisions and finding the help you need. There is no shame in experiencing postpartum mental health issues. While you can’t always prevent them, you can seek support like a postpartum therapist.
Also, do not let anyone rush you into anything. Whether you’re not ready to hang out with friends, share your baby’s name or face online, or settle on a pediatrician, it’s okay to take your time. Pray on every decision and ask God for wisdom and direction. You will likely find more peace in moving at your own pace rather than being rushed by concerns about others’ reactions.
Lastly, find mom friends. They are a lot more compassionate and understanding! They will “get you,” and there will not (should not) be any room for shame in a safe space with other mommas. One last thing: do not compare your journey to anyone else’s. Ask your pediatrician before taking advice from anyone in person or on social media. It will save you a lot of stress.
About The Author
I truly understand what you mean about the importance of community and having a village. My husband and I moved away from family, got pregnant and it has been tough navigating being first time parents and newlyweds all while in a new state with no community. Finding a mom walking group helped a lot and getting out to the local library was also key to my postpartum journey.