A FATHER’S GREATEST ACCOMPLISHMENT- WARREN MOORE

My name is Warren Moore, and I grew up in the Los Angeles/Inglewood area. I work as a Police Officer and have been in law enforcement for about six years. I absolutely love what I do. I’m married to my beautiful wife, Anntanique Moore, and we have a three-year-old daughter. We’re also expecting our second child, a baby boy, soon. My journey to fatherhood has been incredible so far, despite the usual ups and downs of parenting. Our toddler is a bundle of energy, constantly keeping us on our toes. Which has motivated me to get back into shape. After all, running after her requires a good deal of stamina, and I can’t afford to be out of breath.

What’s the backstory of your journey to fatherhood? How did it all start:

I grew up in a two-parent household for most of my life, so I saw firsthand how a power structure like that works. As I got older, from my 20s to now, about to turn 33, I always knew I wanted children. Initially, I dreamed of having three kids, but considering the economy, two seems more practical. I’ve always hoped for a boy and a girl in that order, which doesn’t often happen for everyone, but I’ve been fortunate that it’s about to happen for me. Although I never knew when it would happen, I’ve always wanted kids, and it’s a blessing that it’s happening now.

My wife and I were dating at the time, and we were in the midst of COVID-19. We couldn’t really do much except cuddle up, watch Netflix, and chill. We were living in different cities—she was in Upland, and I was in Hawthorne. One day, she came down to visit while I was asleep because I had to go to work in a few hours. When I woke up, I found a gift bag by the side of my bed. She told me to open it, and inside was a pregnancy test and a t-shirt. I can’t remember exactly what the shirt said, but it indicated that I was about to be a dad. I was like, what!

To give some background on our story and why it was so amazing for me to find out she was pregnant: at the beginning of COVID-19, my wife and I—well, my wife got pregnant. I say “us” because we are a team, and we were both excited about it. It was early in our relationship; we had only been together for about eight months when she got pregnant. I was thrilled because I had always wanted to be a dad.

However, when we went to the doctor for blood work, they told us she was having an ectopic pregnancy. I had never heard of an ectopic pregnancy before, so it was a lot to process for both of us. It was emotionally draining for her, and unfortunately, she had to get a shot to terminate the pregnancy because the embryo wasn’t in the right part of her body.

I stepped into the role of making her feel secure. As a man in the relationship, I can’t imagine what it feels like for a woman to know she’s about to carry a baby and then find out it’s not viable, especially when you truly want the baby. It’s different when someone is unsure about wanting the baby, but when you’re with someone you love and you want it, it’s heartbreaking.

I didn’t take time to process my own feelings because I was focused on her. I didn’t want to see her cry and be hurt, so I had to be there for her. I had to be like an umbrella during the rain, ensuring she felt supported and loved. That was my goal and my job. I never really thought about how I felt in that moment; my mindset was, “I have to make sure she’s okay.” Reflecting now, I realize I was first confused about what an ectopic pregnancy was and then sad because I really wanted the baby.

As a father, speaking for myself, I feel like we’re often ignorant of the many aspects of pregnancy. We assume that everything will go smoothly and be fine. But then you realize there are different dynamics involved, like whether the mother can carry the baby to term and the potential complications along the way. I started learning these things as we went through the experience. There was a part of me that was really sad. My wife would ask questions like, “Can I even have a baby?” and it made me think, “well damn we have a baby?” It was a difficult and eye-opening experience for the both of us.

So fast forward to when she told me that we were expecting our daughter, it was excitement on my end, but it also was a little bit of, “okay, I’m just praying that, everything goes accordingly.” I think that also led into our worries to make sure she was good. Once we found out the baby was in the right place in the uterus this time, it was like, “okay, we are in the game.” I also worried about my wife because I didn’t want anything to happen to her. I think that’s almost every father’s first concern. Honestly, I mean, you care about the baby, but you really care about the mama.

When he found out, he seemed shocked, but he also seemed like he already knew. He just seemed really excited. If anything, I would say excited.— Anntanique Moore

How did you envision the birth order of your children?

I wanted the boy first to be the protector and then a girl. But then I remembered my oldest sister had a boy first. And my mama doesn’t have a granddaughter, and I remember talking to my wife, telling her we should probably shoot for a daughter as if we have the choice.

Our son’s name will be Jeremiah Isaiah Moore, a name filled with strength! Originally, we were going to use the name Jackson, because I like the movie, The Best Man. And I think in the book that, Tate Diggs wrote one of the character names was Jackson. And I thought to myself I’ve never heard many black men named Jackson. And it just so happened that when I said that I promised you every black mother started naming their sons Jackson.

We decided on Jeremiah as both my wife and I are Christians, and Jeremiah is a significant book in the Bible. The middle name Isaiah has always resonated with me. Jeremiah felt like a powerful choice. I also thought about the name Jim but felt it didn’t suit him. I wanted a meaningful, pleasing name that wasn’t too outlandish. A name he could proudly carry as he grows and chases his aspirations.

When and how did you find out you were going to be a dad:

Upon discovering my wife’s pregnancy after opening the box, our initial response was one of shared embrace and affection. Prior to my work shift, we enjoyed a meal together, engaging in a flurry of text messages throughout the day, pondering the exciting prospect of our future child. Expressing a desire for a daughter to provide my mother with a granddaughter, my wife echoed the sentiment, humorously mentioning a potential “mini me.”

We discussed the adjustments needed for our impending parenthood, including plans to cohabit and the importance of closer proximity for support during the pregnancy. Transitioning into a shared residence marked a significant and thrilling chapter for us. The journey into parenthood prompted discussions on our parenting approach, household regulations, and division of responsibilities, laying the foundation for our forthcoming role as parents.

Who was the first person you confided in after finding out you were going to be a father?

I was at work the night before, and she texted me, “We need to talk.” And I don’t know, I just knew. I told my partner, “I think she might be pregnant.” He asked, “Why do you think that?” and I said, “I just think she might be pregnant.” And so, the next day, when she showed me the box, I was like, wow! I think when you’re in sync with your spouse, you kind of just know. Also, I followed her app (Flo App), which she uses to track her menstrual cycle. I wanted to be more intentional with this woman than I’ve been with any woman in the past. I just wanted to feel close to her.

So, when I went to work while on patrol, I told my partner, “Yep, I knew she was pregnant, I just knew it.” He congratulated me and asked, “What are you going to do?” And I’m like, “We’re going to keep the baby, what do you mean!” So, he was the first person I told.

“It didn’t bother me that he wanted to follow the app. It’s like okay, hey if you want to follow it, you can.”—– Anntanique Moore

Did you experience weight gain during your wife’s pregnancy?

Throughout my life, I’ve been an athlete, and I never even came close to the weight I reached. It has been quite a journey to lose it. I think I reached 285 pounds, having never crossed over 230 pounds before. I was just 15 pounds away from weighing 300 pounds. I had never been that big. It got so bad that my thighs were rubbing together when I stood up, and I was out of breath just trying to tie my shoes. One day at work, I thought I was about to have a heart attack because I couldn’t bring my leg up to my chest to put my sock on. That’s when I realized it was getting out of control.

It’s crazy because as soon as she had the baby, it seemed like all that weight just left her. I did lose a lot of weight, but I had to work hard for mine. I had to get on the treadmill and stop eating certain foods. It felt like as soon as she had the baby, she almost got back to where she was when I first met her.

Was there a birthing plan:

As a Black couple, we preferred to have a Black doula who could relate to us culturally. We initially hired a doula and paid for her services, but we soon realized that the cost was too high, and she wasn’t meeting our needs. She had never worked with a Black couple before, and we felt that she wasn’t checking in on my wife as often as we needed.

We strongly believed that having a Black doula would provide us with someone who understood our specific needs better. However, after assessing the situation, we made the difficult decision to part ways with our doula and continue our journey without her services. It was important for us to have a support system that truly resonated with our experiences and background.

Fortunately, Kaiser Permanente provides each mother with a midwife or a nurse practitioner. During the pregnancy with our daughter, we chose a midwife. For this pregnancy, we opted for a nurse practitioner.

We wanted everything to be Black. Ideally, we would have had a Black midwife, but that wasn’t available at the time. We felt that a Black woman would provide more compassionate care for us, given the statistics showing that Black women often do not receive proper care during pregnancy and can face higher risks of death during childbirth. My wife was very conscious of these issues, and I was fully supportive of her concerns. I couldn’t bear the thought of losing her during childbirth due to inadequate care was unbearable to me.

From a Father’s perspective describe the delivery experience of your daughter:

Earlier that day, we had a doctor’s appointment. While I wasn’t inside the room, the doctor performed a membrane sweep, and she was found to be four centimeters dilated. After the procedure, we took a walk near our house, a place we often visited. When we returned home, I ran her bath. While in the tub she mentioned feeling a lot of pressure and expressed a desire to go to the hospital. I asked her, “Are you sure?” Despite feeling somewhat better, she insisted, “No, I think it’s time for us to go.”

We had already packed our hospital bag a few nights earlier. The drive to Kaiser Hospital in Downey felt like it took forever, even though it was only a 20-minute journey. I remember every street, restaurant, and the five Taco Bells we passed. It seemed like the longest drive ever. When we arrived, they asked, “Can your wife walk?” I said yes, so she went in and they told me to wait outside until she was assigned a room. I wanted to use the restroom inside, but they told me to use the porta-potties outside because of COVID-19-related hospital regulations. On top of that, it was raining that night, and using a porta-potty in the rain was quite an experience.

We arrived at the hospital between 10 and 11 p.m. and she didn’t get a room until 4am. I was texting her, but she couldn’t text back because of the intense pain she was experiencing. I was in the car anxiously waiting, uncertain about her condition, I was worried, wondering what was happening to her! I later found out they were trying to send her home, but she insisted, “No, I’m not going home. I’m already four centimeters dilated. I’m not going home.” Finally, almost at 4 a.m., is when she got a room.

I entered the room, and she was lying in bed. At first, she didn’t want the epidural, but she finally understood that she needed to get it. They made me go into the bathroom because I couldn’t watch the doctor put the needle in her back. After receiving the shot, she returned to her usual self, the Anntanique I knew. She even suggested playing Uno, so we enjoyed a few rounds until I fell asleep on her multiple times.

They expedited the process the next day, and from there, it was on. Our mothers wanted to be a part of it, so I had her cell phone and mine in my hands with our mothers on video chat. There were a bunch of nurses, and her midwife was there as well. They were all really nice. She said, “Could you put that phone down? No phones. I need you to be present.” And I’m like, “You asked me to do this,” so I put the phones down. They asked me to go by her head and hold her hands, to just talk to her and push her through. I was doing that. Another nurse, who I guess didn’t have a job, said, “You go down by her legs.” So now I’m down by her legs where I could fully see the head coming out. I’m looking, and I remember seeing my daughter’s head. It looked like some kind of mess out of Alien vs. Predator. It was just unreal. The midwife pulled the baby out, but I was just present to see my daughter come out.

To this day, my daughter is nosy. The reason I say that is because when she came out, she was turning her head left and right. The doctor said, “Come on, baby, this is to get you out of there; stop being nosy.” She was doing something with her fingers around my wife’s vagina area, maybe opening the walls or something. I was like, “What are you doing? Don’t keep twisting that. I want it to go back to normal later on.”

At that point, they told my wife to get one more push in, or they would have to cut more of her vagina wall a procedure call episiotomy. When she heard that, she gumption some strength and gave one more push, and here came our daughter. It was probably one of the most fulfilling moments of my life. I feel like I have accomplished a lot, but this was one of my greatest accomplishments—having a child, seeing the birth, and being present to witness it. It was amazing, from cutting the umbilical cord to watching my wife and our daughter bond. I remember she didn’t cry right away. It was the quietest moment. When she finally got some more air in her lungs, she started crying, and I thought, “Wow, that’s her cry.” She was just a bundle of joy.

There was only one scary moment when they suddenly snatched my daughter up. Something about her nostrils flared up, and they didn’t tell us anything—they grabbed her and ran off. But she was fine. Other than that, I think the birthing process was amazing. I believe our maturity made it even more special because we were a bit older and more prepared.

I couldn’t cry because everyone kept calling my phone. I couldn’t even be in the moment to really process it. But this time around, things will be different. Since it’s not like COVID-19 anymore, her mom can be in the room, so they won’t keep asking me about what’s happening. And I can actually be more involved with my son this time.

What were your first words to your baby:

My wife’s first words to our baby were, “Oh, look at my baby.” And I was just like, “Wow.” I remember holding her, looking at her, smelling her, and being in awe.

Did anything outrageous happened at the hospital:

What was really frustrating was when the medical staff kept entering and leaving the room, disturbing her. We had just managed to get her to sleep, and they kept drawing blood from her feet. I thought to myself, “Please leave my baby alone. We finally got her to sleep, and we were just about to get some sleep ourselves.”

I would do it all again, but of course, I’m not the one carrying the baby.

How did your perception of fatherhood change after becoming a father?

I don’t think I’ve changed much. I molded myself after my dad and how he was there for me. I mean, I’m a little bit louder and goofier than my dad, but he did have some goofy traits about him. One thing that did change is that I used to think my dad had all the answers and was never scared of anything. Since becoming a father, I’ve had to face many fears that I didn’t know I had. For instance, there’s a funny story that wasn’t funny when it happened.

One night, when my daughter was crying, she was two weeks old at the time. I give my wife the night off. I was holding my daughter, and I had just fed her. And I fell asleep. She was playing around. I fell asleep, and I’m like, you will fall asleep eventually. And I promise you, I was probably sleeping for 10 minutes, and all I heard was boom, I’m like, what was that? And she had rolled off my stomach onto the floor, and for us first-time parents, we thought the worst, “Oh my God, she done broke every bone in her body; I’m going to go to jail, I’m a terrible father!” My god, I thought it was the worst thing ever. I was like, “I can’t believe I dropped my baby. She just got here.” We went to her doctor, and they said, ” This will not be the first time she falls. She’s going to fall plenty more times. It happens all the time.”

I have so many fears now, such as, “Can I trust other people around her?” Times are different, and she might start school in a couple of weeks. I’m thinking, who’s the teacher? Do I need to do a background check on the school? It’s just a lot. It’s a different dynamic when you are a father because I’m the protector. I’m supposed to protect everybody, and I’m thinking, “This is my princess; how do I protect her?”

Are you more hands on then your dad was:

My dad was very involved in my upbringing, but he also had to work a lot. He tried to be as involved as possible and found creative ways to make things fun for us. To provide some context, we didn’t realize we were struggling financially when we were kids because everything seemed fine to us. I lived with my auntie and went through periods of sleeping on a couch bed, on the floor, and sharing a bed with my great uncle. We moved around a lot until we finally got our own place in Inglewood, where we had our own space. My dad did his best, and so did my mom, but he also had to be the main provider for our family. He was a great dad then, and he still is today. However, my situation is a bit different because I have had a career since I was 26, and I am now 32. This allows me to be more present for my children and available for their events, unlike my dad who had to work odd jobs and couldn’t be there as much as he wanted to.

How hands-on were you during each pregnancy?

During my wife’s pregnancy with our daughter, I was very involved. I gave her back massages and foot rubs, shared her meals, and gained weight alongside her. We also moved to a new place during that time. I did my best to be there for her in every way, from cooking and running her baths to lighting candles and making her a playlist for relaxation. I wanted to reduce her stress as much as I could. We also made sure to go on date nights to spend quality time together.

It was during COVID-19, which sucked because I would go to the appointments with her but could not go inside the room. I couldn’t get the whole pregnancy experience because of COVID-19, and she went to every appointment by herself. For us to even find out what the gender was, she had to go to an off-location so I could be a part of finding out what the gender of my child was going to be because the doctor wasn’t going to let us in there. So, I wasn’t a part of that journey as far as being present for all the doctors’ appointments, but I drove her to the appointments.

During this current pregnancy with my son, I’ve been able to make a couple more doctor’s appointments than I was able to make for my daughter. So, I feel a little more a part of this journey. And now, for the next appointment, I can tailor my schedule around it. And it’s just a little bit better to experience what I couldn’t experience before because I couldn’t be there the first time around. Every pregnancy is different, but I enjoy this journey much like she does; I’m just not carrying the baby.

Describe the aspects of fatherhood that bring you the most joy:

It may sound cliché, but I always look forward to coming home. Even when my daughter was little and first started learning to talk, I have a video of her saying “hi, Dada” and my response “hi, Mimi”. Sometimes when I watch that video, it brings tears to my eyes. In the moment, you don’t fully grasp it, but when you watch the videos, you realize, “Wow, I am truly a dad, I am a husband, and I have a baby who depends on me and trusts me.” There are times when my daughter and I would lay down for a nap, and I would just watch her sleep and think, “She is perfect and so beautiful.” Even though she runs us low, she’s incredibly smart, and I cherish every hug and kisses with her. As a parent, I can’t help but think about the darkness in the world, and I couldn’t bear the thought of something happening to my daughter. I pray for her safety. I enjoy witnessing her growth and how she overcomes her fears. Before we had a swing in the backyard, she was hesitant to climb up there, but now she’s conquering it. She’s climbing up, jumping down the slide, and even jumping off things.

I am in awe watching her, as she is fearless. We don’t instill fear in her, and we don’t tell her she can’t do something. So when you don’t put those restrictions on a baby, you see how they tackle everything. It’s incredible to watch her development. She can count to 25 and knows her colors! She’ll tell you what her favorite color is, what her favorite animal is, what she doesn’t want, how she feels (“I’m sad”), and why she is sad. She’ll even tell you why she’s sad or mad. “No” is her favorite word. I love my baby. I really do!

What are some of the biggest challenges you faced as a new father, and how did you overcome them?

One challenge was finding a way to be patient because kids are going to be kids. They won’t always do what you expect. It’s about being patient with our daughter as she goes through so many different emotions as a baby, emotions she doesn’t even understand. Instead of always resorting to how you were raised, it’s important to find new ways to handle these circumstances. For example, everyone might tell you to hit or strike your child, but it’s important to find alternative ways to communicate effectively without always resorting to corporal punishment, which is often expected in the Black community. I don’t think every behavior deserves a physical response. Toddlers are learning a lot and don’t always understand their actions. You have to be able to distinguish when to talk to her and when she needs alternative disciplining, and how much discipline is necessary. If a type of discipline isn’t working, we need to find a different approach because she’s dealing with a lot of emotions she doesn’t understand—from happy to sad to angry to frustration. She’s trying to navigate her way through her little three-year-old mind. As parents, we need to figure out what’s most effective for her and for our family.

Working in law enforcement, particularly with the LAPD, teaches you the importance of patience. Dealing with people on their worst days requires a great deal of patience. It’s crucial to remain patient and, at times, to remove yourself from the situation in order to handle it effectively.

Describe a memorable moment or experience that made you feel proud to be a father?

We have been working on potty training for my daughter, and my wife has been taking the lead since she works from home. When I’m at home, I follow the plan she has in place. Our daughter used to take off her underwear and throw her number two out of her underwear because she didn’t want it on her. But one day, we were sitting here, and this little girl ran into the room, took off her underwear, hopped on her toilet, and said, “I had to poo, Daddy. I had to poo.” I was sitting there like, “Wow.” She did it and then said, “I’m finished.”

Another proud moment as a father is when we pray every night before bed. One night, my wife and I were both really tired and went back and forth about who would say the prayer. Our daughter interrupted and said, “I’ll say the prayer, Daddy.” And then she started with, “As I lay me down to sleep,” and recited the whole prayer perfectly, ending with “Amen.” My wife and I looked at each other, flabbergasted, like, “What just happened?” It’s making me emotional now talking about it. Since then, she says her little prayer every night and at the end, we sing it together, “A-a-men.”

Do you already see the difference in how you will parent your son vs your daughter:

Yes, I do. I’m not going to lie to you. My wife even said, “You’re going to be so much harder on him than you are on her.” When a man has a son, he is the one who will carry the torch for the family name. Similar to the days of kings, he is the one you leave the kingdom to. Even though I had my daughter first, my son is my heir; he carries the family name. That’s why it’s so important for me to uphold our family’s good name: my son is going to follow in my footsteps. I want people to see him and say, ‘Oh, that’s your dad? Oh yeah, he’s just like his dad.’ The same goes for my daughter.

I might be a little stricter with my son because he’s a boy, and he’s also a black boy. I work in law enforcement, and I see how society perceives black men. Unconsciously, people seem to fear a black man walking with confidence, especially in certain situations.

I will have to provide training to my son on certain things. Similarly, I’ll have to guide my daughter, being a young black girl, to carry herself in a certain way. Honestly, I might be a bit more lenient with my daughter compared to my son. She might get away with a little more, but I will love them equally. At the end of the day, both of them will receive the same amount of love.

How do you balance your roles and responsibilities as a father with other aspects of your life, such as work or hobbies?

My family comes first and foremost, no matter what. I’ll put my family before a job. You can always get another job, but you can’t get another family, at least not this wife and these kids again. You only live once, so you can’t replace this life. I can always be a cop somewhere else, but I can’t replace the family that I have.

Working in law enforcement is already a dangerous career path, so I handle situations with caution and intelligence. My top priority is to make it back home to my family at the end of the day. I have a wife and children waiting for me at home, so it’s important to find a balance. This means not bringing work stress home and being able to separate work and home life. I try to switch off thoughts of family when I’m at work, but it’s always at the back of my mind because my family is at the core of who I am.

I believe it’s crucial to have friends you can connect with and a way to unwind. My wife and I have talked about this; she doesn’t have many friends in the area, so I’m her closest friend. She calls me to share the latest news, discuss what’s happening, and so on. I try to support her in getting out and meeting new people.

What are some common misconceptions about fatherhood or the path to becoming a father you can dispel? Or things you wished you knew or took for granted.  

I believe it’s about how you use your time. Some people worry too much about balancing everything, but I try to make the most of the time I have. Kids grow up so quickly, and my daughter is already showing how fast time passes. She’ll be four in no time, and before I know it, she’ll be ten and wanting her independence. That’s why it’s important to make the most of every moment.

My wife doesn’t handle everything on her own. I also cook, do baths, diaper changes, and take pride in it. I prepare bottles, wash dishes, clean bathrooms, mop, sweep, and vacuum. Our household is not one-sided; I’m very hands-on too. The only thing I don’t do is hair, but I handle everything else, including brushing teeth and flossing. We work together as a team. The only thing my wife does by herself is our daughter’s hair. I take care of my son’s haircuts. We support each other when one of us needs help, and I continue to do so.

When you focus on the positive aspects of marriage, you tend to overlook the negative parts. I only witnessed a few challenges in my parents’ marriage because they did their best to shield us from it. I did see the loving side with affection, humor, and laughter, and those moments mean more to me than the few difficult ones I saw.

I can’t think of many misconceptions when it comes to fatherhood. However, I believe you can tell the difference between children who have an active father and those who long for one. There are some individuals who really yearn for an active father figure, so they latch on to any male role model they have.

Before I became a police officer, I used to coach at a high school in Downtown LA. I noticed that many of the kids didn’t have their fathers in their lives. When my dad came around, they latched on to him; his words were like gospel to them. They just wanted a male role model to be a part of. These kids were known to be troubled, but my dad stepped in, said something to them, and they decided to shape up and get it right. They saw how I carried myself and were encouraged and motivated to get on the right path because I am an image of my dad.

Kids need balance. When I was growing up, I didn’t have all the latest sneakers or a cell phone until 11th grade. But what I did have was my mom and dad, and I thought that was the greatest thing ever. So when they got divorced, I was devastated because I felt like they were all I had.

How do you handle discipline and teaching important life lessons to your child?

We grew up getting spanked with a belt and other things, and I just don’t understand why we’ve carried this practice from the times of slavery into modern-day parenting. Why do we still believe it’s okay to physically discipline children in this way? It’s very alarming to me. I feel it’s primitive and it goes against my beliefs in African-American history.

My wife and I decided before our child was born that we would never use physical punishment, like a belt, on our child. Using a belt or an object does not teach the message you’re trying to convey. You can achieve more with a gentle reprimand and conversation, or by removing privileges.

In terms of discipline, we begin by using verbal communication, such as saying “no” or addressing the behavior directly. We observe her reactions and behavior based on our initialverbal redirection. I’ve noticed that when I give her a certain look, which is common among Black parents, she responds by stopping the behavior or showing affection, like giving me a kiss. However, if she repeats the same behavior after being told earlier in the day, I might gently tap her hand as a corrective measure. This approach helps us maintain boundaries while also showing love and understanding.

I’ve observed both approaches. I’ve seen children who were disciplined with a belt, and that approach worked for them. I’ve also seen parents who never spanked their kids, and that worked too. However, I’ve also known children who were spanked daily with a belt, but it didn’t work because they had become desensitized to it. On the other hand, I’ve seen parents who used gentle parenting, but that didn’t work either. So, we use a combination of both methods and see what works.

My wife is the yeller, whereas I prefer to give a stern look, get up, and then have a conversation, occasionally with a light pop. I don’t tolerate tantrums, and our daughter knows that. So when she has a falling out, I give her a look and tell her to get up, and most of the time she does.

Based on your fatherhood experience, What advice would you give to other new fathers or soon-to-be fathers based on your experiences?

Enjoy every moment. Show love to your partner, whether they are your girlfriend, wife, or anyone special to you. Be fully present in the moment when it happens. I won’t say that you can’t make mistakes, but if you’ve been parents before, you learn and grow together. Learn as much as you can and make the most of it. Everyone seems to get so stressed out about it. Your baby may be born with some health issues, or they may be completely healthy. If they cry, let them cry. Just show love to your loved ones, your family, and your community. Enjoy the experience. It’s a joyful journey.

If given the chance, reflect on your journey to fatherhood and identify any specific moments you would approach differently. Are there any do-overs?

I don’t think I regret anything regarding this journey or wish I would have done differently. We are doing our best and trying to get it right. And I think we have done everything according to how it should be done.

Anything we should know:

In our generation, we see more present Black fathers than we acknowledge. I believe our generation is making progress, with Black fathers being more actively involved than we realize. There are numerous remarkable Black dads out there. I am not suggesting that we deserve special recognition for fulfilling our responsibilities; I simply feel that Black dads have unfairly received a negative reputation. We are witnessing more fathers, especially Black fathers, who strive to be present in their children’s lives. Whether it’s because they didn’t have that support themselves or they experienced it and want the same for their kids, they are actively working to provide the love and care they didn’t have.

Did Warren’s journey inspire you? 🌟

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